1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,337
Bobby...finish your bath
already.

2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,139
Your grandpa will be here
any minute.

3
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:07,473
I don't think he's coming.

4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,743
Last I saw he was
shaving his legs.

5
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:16,182
Boy, you look like
a picnic table with a bowtie.

6
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,819
It has taking me years
to DDQ.

7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:22,488
And every time Earl comes around
you Urkel back up.

8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,690
Well, whatever you, Neesee.

9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,358
Look, it's my dad's 60th
birthday, okay?

10
00:00:25,391 --> 00:00:27,193
And he gets whatever he wants.

11
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,062
You know,
you a grown‐ass man.

12
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:32,332
Stop trying to impress your dad
and be your own borin' self.

13
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,801
Look, Neesee, you know how hard
he's always been on me, right?

14
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,238
Just once I want him to admit
that I did something right

15
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,607
and this birthday
is gonna be it.

16
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,808
[doorbell ringing]

17
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,109
Fix yourself, fix yourself.

18
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,310
Stop it, stop it.

19
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,481
‐ Hey, what's up Carmen?
‐ Aloha, aloha, big brother.

20
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,417
‐ What's up, dad?
‐ Oh‐oh‐oh, girls hug.

21
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,153
When are you gonna get that,
huh? Ha‐ha‐ha.

22
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,454
‐ Sorry, dad.
‐ There you go.

23
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,089
Hey, you can hug me, poindexter.

24
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,791
Come on over here,
and give me some love.

25
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:00,293
Ah‐ha, Neesee!

26
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:04,430
‐ Hello, hey.
‐ You are lovely as ever.

27
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,601
Ooh, yes I am.
Ha‐ha‐ha.

28
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,436
And you don't look bad yourself,
Earl. Ah.

29
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,439
‐ Ugh.
‐ Ugh.

30
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,476
Where's my grandson?

31
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:17,778
(Bobby)
'Here I come!'

32
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:21,147
Oh, ah‐ah,
don't come downstairs naked.

33
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,816
(Bobby)
'Then I'll be minute.'

34
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,685
[laughing]

35
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,486
‐ Let me go check on that boy.
‐ Oh‐okay.

36
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,888
Hey, dad, you need some help
with your luggage?

37
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,491
If I can carry a 200‐pound,
gunshot private

38
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,493
through a rice paddy
full of landmines

39
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,229
I think I can carry the bags
from the trunk, huh?

40
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,798
Hey, look, I know this, dad.
I already know this.

41
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,833
But look, this week
is all about you

42
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,467
and that's why I wanted
to get you a limo.

43
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,169
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no.

44
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,205
You see Hollywood
ruins a man.

45
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:47,574
And besides, the ride gave me
plenty of time

46
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,342
to spend with my precious
baby girl!

47
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,212
Ooh, I love you too, daddy!

48
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,447
And, daddy, Robin and I
are gonna make sure

49
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,416
you have the best
birthday ever!

50
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:57,784
‐ Oh‐ho, thanks, sugar.
‐ Ha‐ha‐ha.

51
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,253
‐ I'll get those bags, huh?
‐ Ha‐ha‐ha.

52
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,388
Look here.

53
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,890
I didn't get a gift for daddy

54
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,692
so I'mma need you
to put my name on yours.

55
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,393
Put my name on yours‐s‐s‐s.

56
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,595
Mm, let me see.

57
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,764
‐ How can I put this?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

58
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,499
Hell to the no!

59
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,301
'Cause this gift right here
is perfect

60
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,303
and it's not gonna be about you
this time, alright?

61
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:19,472
It's gonna be about me
this time.

62
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,575
[imitates Earl]
Precious baby girl.

63
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:24,745
Oh‐ho, snap!
You sound just like him!

64
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,246
We should let daddy hear that.

65
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,248
Daddy! Robert is‐‐

66
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,950
♪ Hey ♪
♪ And even though ♪

67
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,619
♪ We're stressed sometimes ♪
♪ It's all of us now ♪

68
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,388
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪♪♪

69
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:36,422
♪ Yeah ♪♪♪

70
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,628
♪ Sometimes I'll let you know ♪♪♪

71
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,763
♪ Yeah ♪

72
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:43,830
[laughing]

73
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,601
‐ Ugh.
‐ Oh.

74
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,769
Neesee

75
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,838
that salmon was amazing!

76
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,240
If I had a woman who looked
and cooked

77
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,678
as good as you, I‐I would never
be fool enough to let her go.

78
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,980
Ha‐ha, thank you, Earl.

79
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,648
But you know, I just add
my own little recipe‐‐

80
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,784
Well, dad, you know,
I've helped Neesee

81
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,519
put this place together,
I'm half owner.

82
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,554
Oh, more headache
than help I'd imagine.

83
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,856
[blowing a raspberry]
I'm glad you said it.

84
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,425
You know what?
Let's open the gifts, huh?

85
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,227
‐ Start with me, grandpa!
‐ Mm‐mm.

86
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,897
Oh, yeah, great.

87
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,532
‐ Mm‐mm.
‐ Yeah. What..

88
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,534
Oh, man!

89
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,903
‐ A Bugs Bunny bowtie.
‐ A‐aw.

90
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:26,707
Oh, I'd be the best‐dressed
professor on the faculty.

91
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,509
‐ Now, thanks, Bobby.
‐ Okay, it's now my turn.

92
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,343
No, daddy gets mine next!

93
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,248
Shouldn't take long
giving him nothing.

94
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,518
Shut up, punk, sit down.

95
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,485
Daddy, um

96
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,387
I wrote this just for you.

97
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,826
♪ Father ♪

98
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,027
♪ I'm ♪

99
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,630
♪ I'm so glad ♪

100
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,932
♪ That you like ♪

101
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:56,637
♪ The s‐s‐s‐salmon ♪

102
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,540
♪ Though king crab ♪

103
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:04,310
♪ Wo‐u‐u‐u‐uld've been better ♪

104
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:09,415
♪ For a king ♪

105
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,619
♪ Like you ♪

106
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,288
♪ Neesee ♪

107
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:19,359
♪ So ha‐a‐a‐a‐appy ♪

108
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:22,495
♪ Ha‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐ppy ♪

109
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:28,368
♪ Ha‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a‐p‐py ♪

110
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,336
♪ Yeah ♪

111
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,807
♪ Birthday ♪

112
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,908
♪ Daddy ♪♪♪

113
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,710
Oh!

114
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,812
‐ Thank you, baby girl.
‐ Oh!

115
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,614
That was the best song
I've ever heard.

116
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:43,650
‐ Thank you, daddy!
‐ It was so heartfelt.

117
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,619
‐ Oh, so creative.
‐ I know.

118
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,821
‐ So beautifully sung.
‐ 'I know'

119
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,690
‐ Is he kiddin' me?
‐ Pfft.

120
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:53,059
Oh, daddy I wanted to give you
something money couldn't buy.

121
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,097
Well, you could've
bought earplugs.

122
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,665
And what hell is wrong
with my salmon?

123
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,400
It's a metaphor.

124
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,736
‐ Although it was a little tart.
‐ Just like your breath.

125
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,470
‐ Okay, you see this‐‐
‐ Hey, hey, hey.

126
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,073
You know it's time
for my gift! My turn!

127
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,514
It's a genealogy chart. Okay?

128
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,549
It goes back to your great,
great, great

129
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,351
great‐grandfather. Okay?

130
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,621
And with a swab of DNA
from you me and Carmen

131
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,355
they could trace us back
to the tribe

132
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:25,826
that we came from in Africa,
dad. Isn't that perfect?

133
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,530
I mean it's perfect, right?

134
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,598
With you being a black history
professor and all.

135
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,800
Yeah, yeah, uh‐uh..

136
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,135
But, uh, I‐I'd like to do it

137
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,837
it's just that there's not
enough time.

138
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,940
Ah, I already worked
that out, daddy.

139
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,742
I talked to Dr. Dixon, he said

140
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,844
he will rush the results
and you'll had them for you

141
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,045
before you leave town, huh?

142
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,013
Well, then, frankly, son

143
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,615
I don't want the gift.

144
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,653
‐ Excuse me?
‐ Science isn't exact.

145
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,955
All it does is stir up the hopes
in African Americans

146
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,422
who are be‐better off thinking

147
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,559
about their, their future
in this country

148
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,961
rather than a past
in another.

149
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,029
[sighing]

150
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,632
I can't believe you.
I mean..

151
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,400
I give you the gateway
to your origin

152
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,736
and you don't like it?

153
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,605
Carmen sings a salmon song

154
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,006
and you can't get enough?

155
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,510
You know what? I'm done.

156
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,078
Robert, Robert, Robert!

157
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,781
Stop, Robert, come on.

158
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,650
Come on,
you know how daddy gets.

159
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,419
He...is hard on you,
you get mad at him.

160
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,188
I say something cute,
everything's okay.

161
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,157
Carmen, nothing I do
is good enough for that man

162
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,859
and I'm tired of tryin'.

163
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,461
It was a good gift, okay?

164
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,698
Look, look, look, look, look.
Maybe..

165
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,134
Maybe we could make it
a brother‐sister thing. Okay?

166
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,904
How about we find out
what tribe we're from?

167
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,074
Okay.

168
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,079
You know what, Carmen?
He‐he‐he already ruined it.

169
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,750
Oh, now, come on.
Come on, please. For me?

170
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,552
Come on, please?

171
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,954
Pretty, pretty , pretty, pretty,
pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty..

172
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:04,157
[chuckles]
Okay, alright, alright, alright.

173
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,026
‐ Cool.
‐ Ahh.

174
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,194
You're not still bummed?
Are you?

175
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,565
Alright.

176
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:15,702
♪ Robert ♪

177
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,870
♪ Ro.. ♪♪♪

178
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,672
You're just making it worse.

179
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,041
[hip hop music]

180
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,643
Hey.

181
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,911
‐ Hey.
‐ Have a good time, baby.

182
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,048
Thank you, Ms. James.
I love the new dress.

183
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,149
Oh, well, you know what?

184
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,851
With the right accessories

185
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,720
you'll dazzle. Come on.

186
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,857
So, is there anybody special

187
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,692
you wanna dance with?

188
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:41,695
‐ Yeah. Uh, Deke.
‐ Oh.

189
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,931
Uh‐uh, girl, you ain't dancing
with no Deke.

190
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,233
Well, Dirk, there's nothing
wrong with dancing with a boy.

191
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,570
What if F‐F‐Freaky Dekey
tries to

192
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,805
dance up against the wall
or something, huh?

193
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,007
He does that, trust me,
I'll kill a kid.

194
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,010
Or we can show her
what to do.

195
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,279
Check this out.

196
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,583
Okay.
So now you dancin'..

197
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,552
Say, and your slow jam
come on..

198
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,020
Ooh..

199
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,256
Do you want her to learn
about this here

200
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,825
or in the streets?

201
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,571
Ooh, and bam! See?
I'm trapped.

202
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,273
Now, what's the guy's
next move, Dirk?

203
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,743
Uh, make sure no adults around
and grab your booty.

204
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,045
‐ Okay. Go ahead.
‐ Hell, no!

205
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,682
I don't want you.

206
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,084
This is strictly educational.

207
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,553
Come on, do it.

208
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:42,789
‐ Ah!
‐ Aah!

209
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,224
Oh, not the boys, Neesee.

210
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:47,060
Not the boys.

211
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,729
Relax, will you?

212
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:49,930
Well, Courtney, you get
the picture, right?

213
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:50,964
Definitely.

214
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,165
Um, Ms. James, do you mind

215
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,266
if me and my girls get ready

216
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,635
over here instead of dads?

217
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:55,969
They need to hear this stuff.

218
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,871
‐ Especially Britney.
‐ He‐he‐he.

219
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,139
I already cleaned
the bathroom.

220
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,774
Well, did you get
extra lipstick

221
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,176
curling irons, safety pins
and masking tape?

222
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,611
See, I didn't think so.

223
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:05,979
Just let the girls
dress over here.

224
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,914
‐ Fine.
‐ 'Okay, now look.'

225
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,884
This is what you do
when a fast song come on.

226
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,719
Come on, freak me, Dirk.

227
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,861
This feels so wrong.

228
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:27,033
[hip hop music]

229
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,303
Dr. Dixon! How you doing, sir?
This is my sister, Carmen.

230
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:32,005
Take us back to the motherland.

231
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,339
♪ Waila waila waila.. ♪♪♪

232
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,975
[laughing]

233
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,743
Well, yes. Please,
would you like to sit down?

234
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,879
No, no, no, doc,
just give it to us straight.

235
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,113
‐ That's right.
‐ Am I royalty?

236
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,817
Better yet, does my
tribe own..

237
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,320
Actually I traced you to the
West African Infantu tribe.

238
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:48,855
Ooh, Infantu?

239
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:52,225
Best known for its
champion goat herders.

240
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:56,296
Yo! That's why you be getting
that hair under your chin.

241
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,330
Shut up.

242
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:58,665
Robert on the other hand

243
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,634
is from the Chamaca tribe.

244
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,303
Best known for its great
warriors and dancers.

245
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,940
Ah, you hear that?
He said a I'm a warrior.

246
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,108
‐ Pff, pff.
‐ Oh, boy.

247
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,276
And a dancer.

248
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:14,848
Yeah. I think the warrior
just killed the rhythm.

249
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,750
Yeah, but you herd goat.

250
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,019
‐ Go, goat.
‐ Heh.

251
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,287
This way, goat.
Ha‐ha‐ha.

252
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,757
It's champion goats, punk.
Shut your face.

253
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,258
[laughing]

254
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,160
Hold up. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

255
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,895
How could we be from
different tribes?

256
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:33,199
The test shows that you're only
related through your mother

257
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,035
which means you have
different fathers.

258
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,305
What?

259
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,908
I'm sorry,
but DNA doesn't lie.

260
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,412
♪ Ah‐ah Yeah yeah ♪
♪ Yeah unh ♪

261
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,881
♪ Ah‐ah‐ah ♪♪♪

262
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,720
Uh‐uh, he's definitely
your dad.

263
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,321
No, Robert,
he's your dad.

264
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,757
Okay, then why is he always

265
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,891
treating me
like a stepchild, huh?

266
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,693
He is overcompensating

267
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,461
to throw of us the scent.

268
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:05,131
I mean, it'd be too obvious
if he treated me mean, Robert.

269
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,433
Why else would he like
my dumbass song?

270
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,036
That's true.

271
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,438
And if you think about it

272
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:16,209
I'm the only light‐skinned one
in the whole family.

273
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,144
I mean look at this.
Look at this photo.

274
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,881
Tell me who's the eyeball
in this one.

275
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,985
(Robert)
'Damn.
Who's that white girl?'

276
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:31,257
And here's what
we're not saying, Robert.

277
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,093
[sighing]
Mama was creeping out on daddy.

278
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,729
Hey. Hey. Do not talk
about mama like that.

279
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,063
Oh, come on, Robert.

280
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,232
I mean, what else could've
gone on?

281
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,101
‐ Uh, ooh.
‐ What?

282
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,402
‐ Ooh! Huh!
‐ What?

283
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,737
I think I know who it was, too.

284
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,438
‐ Who?
‐ It was, um..

285
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:48,742
Mr. Green from next door.

286
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,745
The half‐black, half‐Italian guy
they called Burnt Spaghetti?

287
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,181
He was always
smiling at me.

288
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,751
And he taught mama
how to make ravioli.

289
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,820
‐ Um..
‐ Why didn't I think it before?

290
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,189
That's why I love pasta!

291
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,792
I'm a fool for pasta.

292
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,363
Hey. How did things go today
with the DNA guy?

293
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,899
[sighing]
Horrible.

294
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,769
He said Earl isn't my
real father.

295
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,203
Ooh.

296
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,972
‐ Really?
‐ Yeah.

297
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,473
So, uh, you know,
we might need a minute

298
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,942
to kind of talk it through,
do you mind?

299
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,309
Yeah, yeah, no problem.

300
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,378
I'll be at the restaurant
if you need me.

301
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,980
Hey.

302
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,515
For whatever it's worth,
I wouldn't wish this

303
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:30,984
on my worst enemy..

304
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:34,087
...but it happened
to you anyway.

305
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,022
‐ So I'm sorry.
‐ Heh.

306
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,423
Thanks, Neese, it means

307
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,226
absolutely nothing coming
from you.

308
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,828
But thanks.

309
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,432
‐ Ahh.
‐ So what do you wanna do?

310
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:47,500
You wanna talk to dad
about this or what?

311
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,035
Oh, I don't know.

312
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,136
It'd just hurt him and mom

313
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,271
just to bring it up right now.

314
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,405
And I‐I really don't even think

315
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,374
I could deal with it right now.

316
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,242
Okay, I tell you what.

317
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,145
You don't have to.
We'll keep it between us, okay?

318
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,081
Promise?

319
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,984
Super‐secret, shake on it.

320
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,952
[scoffs]
I mean, we haven't done this
in a long time.

321
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,387
I know.
Come on, let do it.

322
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,524
‐ Boy. Don't hit me too hard.
‐ Hey, hey.

323
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,859
‐ Oh, hey!
‐ Stop playing!

324
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,128
[hip hop music]

325
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,563
[chuckles]

326
00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:18,064
I wish I had your hair.

327
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,566
Ah, shut up,
I wish I had your hair.

328
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,835
Oh, shut up, I wish I had
both of you guys' hair.

329
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,037
Ha‐ha, shut up,
I wish I had a son.

330
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,240
Anytime, Courtney.

331
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,510
Dirk, stop trying
to rush perfection.

332
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,613
[cheering]

333
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,548
‐ Oh, yeah.
‐ Ooh!

334
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,149
(female
'Ooh!'

335
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:41,021
Dirk, Courtney looks great.

336
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,923
As do all the girls.

337
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,424
Get with the times.

338
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,260
‐ Ms. James.
‐ Mm.

339
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,195
My bra strap just popped.

340
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,898
Oh. Let me get the safety pins.

341
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,466
- Oh, Britney.
‐ Mm‐hmm

342
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,269
It's not that cold in here.
Where's your bra?

343
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,604
Um, I forgot it.

344
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,007
Come with me. Come on.

345
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,576
You get the masking tape.

346
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,313
That's what it's for?

347
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,149
Do you guys think Mike likes me?

348
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,652
[scoffs]
Well, he I‐M'd me like
a gajillion times

349
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,419
to see if you were
coming tonight.

350
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:16,156
And Deke I‐M'd me
about you, Courtney.

351
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,225
Not in front of the D‐A‐D.

352
00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:23,564
"The D‐A‐D" is right here.

353
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,033
And he can S‐P‐L‐L.

354
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:33,106
Okay. Let me get to
that strap, Ashley.

355
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,608
‐ 'Oh.'
‐ Mm‐hm.

356
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,111
Okay. Come on,
last looks, girls.

357
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:43,149
Come, come, come, come, come.
Turn, turn, turn.

358
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,618
Lovely, lovely, lovely.

359
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,286
Ashley.

360
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,122
Oh, you're so adorable.

361
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:50,991
Courtney.

362
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,959
Perfect.

363
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,561
Britney.

364
00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:56,362
Oh, uh..

365
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,565
I don't see any panty lines.

366
00:14:58,599 --> 00:15:01,001
Thank you. Heh.

367
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,636
Girl, put them on.

368
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,438
Or your little behind
is going nowhere but home.

369
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,110
The only place I've seen faster
girls was in the Olympics.

370
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,146
[scoffs]
I got it under control,
it'll be alright.

371
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,582
Hey, Courtney, show me that
Twerk It dance again.

372
00:15:15,616 --> 00:15:17,150
Oh.

373
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,020
♪ Work it work it
twerk it twerk it ♪

374
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,723
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty ♪

375
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,424
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty ♪

376
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,527
Oh, I remember this.

377
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,128
♪ Shake that booty ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

378
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,396
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty ♪

379
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,533
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty ♪

380
00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,434
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty ♪

381
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,037
♪ It's your duty
shake that booty.. ♪♪♪

382
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:41,307
Oh, no, honeys.
Uh, shut that shake down.

383
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,043
Why?
We're just having fun.

384
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:46,046
That's fine, but you have to
remain a lady.

385
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,348
Now it may seem cool
to dance like a hoe

386
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,585
but remember nobody loves
a hoe for long.

387
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,689
Wow. Thanks Ms. James.

388
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,190
That's deep.

389
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,459
Yeah.

390
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,494
You're like Oprah or something.

391
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,165
Daddy, can you please go
rev up the Denali?

392
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,700
Not until I lay down
some rules.

393
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,402
‐ Oh. Hm.
‐ Rule number one.

394
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,572
‐ No drinking.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

395
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:14,207
Rule number two,
no dirty dancing.

396
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,709
Mm‐hmm.

397
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:18,779
Based on what I just saw,
it means no dancing.

398
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,114
‐ Number three‐‐
‐ We'll be in the car.

399
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,017
God, like, could you be
more embarrassing?

400
00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:27,320
Damn right I could.

401
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,558
And why are you, like,
talking like that?

402
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,495
You're gonna drive her away
treating her like a baby.

403
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,133
[Neesee grunts softly]

404
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,301
You're right.

405
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:46,239
Hey, thanks for doing all this.
She needed a mom tonight.

406
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,609
You know, actually, thank you.

407
00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:51,712
I've always wanted a daughter,
and tonight I got four.

408
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:54,548
And trust me, some of them
really need a mama.

409
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,184
So, you want me to come
with you?

410
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,053
No, I got it, but if Courtney's
one minute late

411
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,622
like I said, I'm going in
that dance with a flashlight

412
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,657
and a shotgun.
I'll kill a kid.

413
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,393
‐ I better come with you.
‐ Yeah, you better.

414
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:11,097
[hip hop music]

415
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,699
‐ Ah.
‐ Ha‐ha‐ha.

416
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:14,067
Phew, ooh.

417
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,503
Thanks for
a lovely night out.

418
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,371
Hey, Bobby, what's the name
of that place again?

419
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,106
‐ Goldfin Taco.
‐ Alright.

420
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,175
We got lucky and got free beans
and balls tonight.

421
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,645
‐ Oh, yeah.
‐ Yeah, all over beans.

422
00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,112
And balls, very lucky.

423
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,714
[laughing]
What's wrong with you two?

424
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:29,215
‐ Nothing.
‐ Nothing.

425
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,084
Goodnight, dad,
Goodnight, Aunty Carmen.

426
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:32,586
‐ Goodnight, Bobby.
‐ Goodnight, Bobby.

427
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,490
Okay, cut the act.
What's going on?

428
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,259
Nothing. What‐what are you
talking about?

429
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,127
I know I was kind of rough
on my birthday party

430
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,763
but I thought we got past that.

431
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,231
Yeah, you're right,
and yes we did get pass that.

432
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,833
Everything is cool, dad. Yeah.

433
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:49,469
[scoffs]
Okay, well. Okay,
I'll see you in the morning.

434
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,505
Mr. Green is my father and
that's why I'm light skinned

435
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:55,308
and I like pasta!

436
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,277
‐ Carmen!
‐ What?

437
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,646
Uh, that's ridiculous!

438
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,582
Mm, everybody likes pasta!

439
00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,183
Carmen, what are you doing?

440
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,618
I'm sorry, Robert!

441
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,286
But I can't help it.

442
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,356
You're not my real father.

443
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,859
Robert and I took
the DNA test

444
00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:15,829
and it said for sure
we don't have the same daddy.

445
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,531
I knew that gift
was gonna be trouble.

446
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,132
Mm‐hmm.
You really did it this time.

447
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:20,466
Well, hey, wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute.

448
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,335
Don't put this on me.

449
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:26,439
All I was trying to do was give
my father a happy birthday.

450
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,775
And if you and mom hadn't kept
secrets all these years

451
00:18:28,809 --> 00:18:30,677
nothing would've turned up.

452
00:18:33,747 --> 00:18:37,851
[sighing]
Look, dad, we're not trying
to judge you, okay?

453
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,886
But now that it's out, don't you
think we should talk about it?

454
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,555
No! No, and neither of you

455
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,256
say anything to your mother
about this.

456
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,427
Whoa, whoa, whoa, daddy,
that is so not fair to me.

457
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,830
You know, come on,
you've known this my whole life

458
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:53,266
and you never said
anything to me.

459
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,301
I thought I was your precious
little baby girl.

460
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,771
‐ You are.
‐ No, I'm not.

461
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,373
Because if I was, I wouldn't
have to hear the truth

462
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,843
from a scientist,
I would've heard it from you.

463
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:05,812
Well, I, I..
Your mother..

464
00:19:05,846 --> 00:19:07,814
‐ Well, she‐‐
‐ Dad, dad, dad, listen.

465
00:19:07,848 --> 00:19:09,415
You don't even
have to say it, okay?

466
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,585
We‐we know that mom
had an affair

467
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,219
and that's why you guys
eventually got a divorce.

468
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,255
Oh, never speak about
your mother that way.

469
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,290
That woman never
cheated on me.

470
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,526
Then how..

471
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,861
Uh.. Heh.

472
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:23,630
Y‐your mother wa‐was pregnant

473
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,932
uh, before we got married.

474
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,378
What are you saying?

475
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:41,848
[sighing]

476
00:19:41,882 --> 00:19:43,316
Robert

477
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,619
I'm not your real father.

478
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:53,760
♪ Don't know what to do ♪
♪ Oh oh oh yeah ♪

479
00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:00,734
(Robert)
Next time on "All Of Us."

480
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,868
Now we all know why we're here

481
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,704
just let's lay it out
on the table.

482
00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:05,438
Who is my real father?

483
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,941
His name is..

484
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,543
...Luther Brody.

485
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:10,911
The last I heard

486
00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:13,013
Luther Brody was living
in Las Vegas.

487
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,447
But this is crazy, Dirk.

488
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,618
I'm about to meet
my real father.

489
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:21,387
‐ What's that gonna be?
‐ I don't know.

490
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,857
But you're not gonna find out
sitting in the car with me.

491
00:20:25,859 --> 00:20:26,860
[sighing]

492
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,428
[rings doorbell]

493
00:20:30,831 --> 00:20:32,232
[theme music]

494
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:53,820
[record scratching]